Doctor Flesh- Director's Cut by Alex Johnson

Author:Alex Johnson [Johnson, Alex]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: MorbidbookS. Everything Bleeds.
Published: 2014-08-18T04:00:00+00:00

***

Courtney Steele did her best to shut out the chorus to “The Clown Dies At the End” by Bozokill, on constant mental replay since the previous night’s concert. She had only half-unwillingly allowed her daughter to drag her to the show, pleased that even in her cougarish dotage she out-hottied most of the young flesh on display. Maybe they had firmer real tits, but Courtney had class, and experience. Even if she couldn’t pass the pencil test without extensive help from a plastic surgeon.

But it was the Patriarch’s turn to claim her attention now. Father Mallardy was pacing up and down Steele’s living room, thumping his rod and staff on her plush carpet.

Nobody remembered exactly how Mallardy entered the picture. Rumor had it that he was a seventh cousin, once removed, of the uncle of one of the original founding fathers of the Sugar Valley community. Mallardy hailed from West Virginia, had shown up one day at Steele’s doorstep in duck waders, brandishing a Bible and waving his foot-long grey beard in her face. She’d put him up in one of the guest rooms and made several frantic phone calls in the attempt to determine who he was and what he was there for. She was assured that Mallardy had been summoned to inspire solidarity among the members of the secret True Blonde Coalition, which had splintered off into the Total Disclosure cell and the Behead All the Bitches sect. At present, the BAB’s were dominating the conversation.

“Maybe you’re wondering why I’m here in this den of iniquity, here in Sugar Valley with your Death Ball Jesus and your Godless experimentation,” said Mallardy. “I’m not here to preach that gospel, but to make you see the error of your ways. To renounce the spiked ball and return to the true church of the duck.

“Many times I’ve been out there in the swamps and marshes, many times hiding behind a blind, waiting…for a message, for the answer to my prayers, for a sign from above that the ducks are coming. I’ve searched my soul and sought within for a solution. Oh, how I have agonized in my heart of hearts. And you know what I’ve found? Duck Jesus is the only way. He will hear the call of the sincere, but shun those without faith. And we must have faith, brothers and sisters of Sugar Valley. We must.

“I want you to gather in a circle and pray with me. I want you to join hands as we put our fate in the palm of the Almighty. We will find that which we seek. But it shall not be through the violence of beheading, nor the chemical and shock treatments. Duck Jesus, please heed our call.”

Courtney clasped hands with her husband, who was kneeling by the side of Father Mallardy. She was grateful for the pastor’s compassionate wisdom, although his rhetoric struck her as extreme and somewhat random.

“No, a thousand times no, to the beheading,” said Mallardy. “But these memories must be dealt with.

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